


too far away from you

by untakenbeepun



Category: Kaleidotrope (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Other, drew probably has anxiety too, harrison has anxiety, i have anxiety, like a little bit of angst, look i still don't know how to tag but they miss each other because they're dorks and in love, more than a little but not like, my titles are goddamn terrible, not like majorly angst, we all have anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 17:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17411354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untakenbeepun/pseuds/untakenbeepun
Summary: Long distance is hard.





	too far away from you

Harrison had forgotten what it was like to be lonely.

It wasn’t until he’d met Drew, actually, that he’d realised how lonely he was. It wasn’t until there was someone else in his life that had lit an ache of longing in his chest, that he’d realised how truly, truly alone he was.

And he didn’t realise that he’d forgotten what being lonely was like until Drew had to leave.

Being lonely wasn’t so bad, Harrison mused. Being lonely when you knew what _not_ being lonely felt like was much worse.

It hit him worst on the days when the dark thoughts starting to creep in, those days when it felt like someone had a hand around his lungs and was squeezing the air out of his body until there was none left.

Normally on those days, Drew wouldn’t be far away. Drew could wash away all the bad thoughts with a single touch or a whispered word.

Now, there was three thousand miles and a whole ocean between them, and Harrison’s room had never felt so small.

It was evening, and Harrison lay curled on the bed, trying to remember how to breathe. 

It took him five minutes of deliberating before he finally snatched his phone up from the bedside table.

“ _Harrison?_ ” Drew’s voice was a rough burn, deep and warm from sleep.

“Did I wake you?” Harrison said as if it wasn’t obvious.

He cursed himself for forgetting about time-zones.

“ _No. What’s wrong?_ ”

_You woke him up, idiot._

“Nothing. I—” Harrison swallowed, taking a breath in. “I just needed to hear your voice.”

“ _You sure you’re okay?”_  

“M’fine. Just a bad night.”

“ _Wanna talk about it?”_

“Not really. Can you just... talk to me for a bit?” Harrison said, quietly. “What time is it for you?”

“ _About four in the morning.”_

Harrison winced. “I shouldn’t have called.”

“ _I like it when you call.”_

“You barely get enough sleep as it is.”

“ _Harrison,”_ Drew said, his voice firm. “ _If something’s wrong, I want you to call me, no matter what the time is._ ” 

“I don’t want to bother you.”

“ _I like it when you bother me.”_

Harrison’s lower lip wobbled. “This isn’t working,” he whispered.

“ _What?”_

“This. Phone calls in the middle of the night. Grainy skype videos,” Harrison said, hoarsely. “I need to see you. I miss you _so much_.”

“ _I know,”_ Drew said, and maybe it was just the phone static, but Harrison thought he heard Drew sniff a little. “ _I miss you too, more than I can say.”_

Harrison gave a long, shaky sigh. “This sucks,” he said.

On the other end of the phone, Drew let out a laugh. “ _It does suck_ ,” he agreed. “ _Only two weeks to go, though_.”

“Two impossibly long weeks.” Harrison pouted.

Drew stifled a yawn.

“Oh my God, go back to bed,” Harrison said. “I’ve taken up too much of your time.”

“ _You could never.”_

“Just go to sleep, Drew.”

“ _I don’t want to leave if you’re not okay.”_

“I’m fine. I just needed to hear your voice for a little bit.”

“ _I’m always here for that,”_ he said. There was a pause. “ _Harrison?”_

“Yeah?”

“ _I love you. So much_.”

Harrison’s heart warmed, the way it always did when Drew said those words. “I love you too.”

He ended the call, rolled over in his bed and pulled the covers over himself, doing his best to will two whole weeks away.

* * *

 

They stick together like glue for a little while after Drew gets back.

Harrison hadn’t seen him in person for over three months, and he was needy, god damn it, could you blame him?

Luckily, it seemed as if Drew was just as needy as Harrison was, if the way he was holding him was anything to go by.

Enfolded in Drew’s arms, warm and wondrous, his chin resting against Drew’s heartbeat, Harrison had never felt safer.

“I worry about you when I’m not here,” Drew admitted.

“Yeah?”

“It’s like... Obviously, I know you can look after yourself, you don’t _need_ me around to protect you or anything but,” Drew said, taking a deep breath in, “but when I’m halfway across the world from you, I worry. It’s like—”

“Like if something happened you wouldn’t be able to be there. You wouldn’t be the first to know, and even if you were, there wouldn’t be anything you could do,” Harrison finished for him. “Yeah. I know.”

Drew held him tighter, lips brushing in Harrison’s hair. “It hurts being away from you,” he mumbled.

“I know.”

Harrison shifted so he could rest his head under Drew’s chin, fingers tracing light circles around Drew’s chest.  

“We won’t have to do for it forever,” Harrison said. “One day we’ll live together for good and you won’t have to leave for months at a time, and we can be a disgustingly in love married couple with a dog and a white picket fence.”

“Harrison, are you proposing?” Drew’s voice had a smile in it.

Harrison’s cheeks tinged pink. “No!” he said, quickly. “Maybe. One day. It’s on the cards for me.”

“Me too,” Drew said. “One day.”

“Good, because I’ve been really wanting one of those fifties style aprons so I can be a proper housewife,” Harrison said, grinning.

“That’s a visual I don’t think I can hold out until marriage for.”

“I’ll order one from Amazon tomorrow.”

The two of them smiled. Harrison sighed, slinking his arm across Drew’s waist.

“I’ve missed this,” he mumbled into Drew’s chest.

“I’ve missed _you_ ,” Drew said.

“Well,” Harrison said, because he couldn’t help but be difficult, “ _I’ve_ missed you _more.”_

“I’m not starting this with you,” Drew said, but he was grinning.

“Spoilsport.”

“Troublemaker.”

Drew leaned in and kissed him, and Harrison all but melted into it. Maybe one day, one day when they had that house and white picket fence, he might get used to Drew’s kisses, but for now, they were always going to reduce him to a puddle on the floor.

He lost himself into Drew’s kiss, letting his eyes flutter shut and his body relax, safe and exactly where he belonged.

It might have hurt being away from him, but there was no doubt in Harrison’s mind.  

Drew was worth the wait.


End file.
